Like Coco Chanel, I love luxury. My heart does palpitations when I walk by the boutiques in Paris. A three-star Michelin restaurant evokes moans and groans. And, a fabulous handbag and a hotel staff that is constantly saying “My pleasure” at my every request makes me smile.
I even developed a luxury mastermind program where I have the honor of mentoring an amazing group of women while we travel to some of the most luxurious places in the world, such as Aspen and Monaco. I think it’s important that women learn how to infuse their businesses, lives and souls with luxury. (By the way, that pic is of us at our slumber party with a private chef at the Ritz.)
Call me vain, materialistic or whatever word you have for people like me. I don’t care. In fact, I understand. I use to feel the same about people living “the good life,” and you know what? It wasn’t because I thought they were bad people. Deep down, I was just jealous, because I wanted it too.
Here’s what may not know about me. I haven’t always lived such a luxurious lifestyle. In fact, I’ve been dead broke. I’m talking eating Ramen noodles, living in a double-wide, chasing down the K-mart blue light special and putting 25 cents worth of gas in my car broke.
I’m also not a money coach, meaning I don’t teach you how to make more money. I teach you how to tap into your desires, create health, follow your passions and live life full out. Money just seems to follow such a gal.
What I’ve discovered is that you must first learn how to be a luxurious person to attract a luxurious life, which is what “French Kissing Life” is all about – filling each day with joie de vivre, passion and desire – all of which can be achieved with little money in the bank. In fact, this method, not some money management system, is exactly how I attracted a most luxurious life.
I want to show you how to do the same, because I know deep down, you’d probably enjoy a nice bottle of wine or a night at the Ritz Carlton. And, there’s nothing at all wrong with you for wanting it. In fact, I say, “Go for it sista!”
Making it Obtainable
Very few people are fortunate enough to become overnight millionaires, but if you want to live a luxurious life, you must align your energy with luxury. So, what is a girl to do?
Well, you may need to redefine luxury to make it obtainable now, because if your current definition is fine yachts and you drive a Pinto, guess what? You’re screwed.
So, let’s think of luxury as this: quality people, experiences and things.
When I decided many years ago that I was fed up with the crap in my life, I started seeking quality. I was done with the junk foods, whining people and plastics made in China. I wanted more for myself, but I couldn’t afford Chanel at the time (and although I write about her like we’re best friends now, I still don’t own a piece.) I had to start showing gratitude for the luxuries I had to attract more of it into my life, and trust me, if you’re reading this, you have a computer. That’s a luxury.
Luxury is about quality and sometimes the most quality experiences are free. I can’t think of anything more luxurious than hanging out with my daughter on the sofa watching a really good movie or my morning cup of coffee on my back deck.
Instead of me giving you some woo-woo law of attraction guide on energy alignment to attract more money, I am going to share my real-life examples of how I began to experience luxury long before my first Ritz-Carlton stay (BTW, j’adore the Ritz). When I started doing the following things, the world of luxury opened its big arms and embraced me:
1. I stopped hanging out with complaining people who were always talking about how broke they were. Major luxury repellent.
2. I sought out quality relationships with people who were no strangers to luxury. I wanted to learn how to think like them.
3. I spent more time in nature. There’s nothing as luxurious as walking barefoot in the grass on a summer evening or a good hike in the woods.
4. Luxury abhors haste, so I slowed down and enjoyed cups of coffees and conversations with friends.
5. I stopped spending my money on the crap 2 for $20 shirts and saved up to buy the nice $100 one. Luxury is not about quantity; it’s the quality that matters.
6. I hung out in the lobbies of fine hotels and just experienced the world of luxury. They don’t charge you for lobby space.
7. I drove a junk car so I could splurge on good food. I still drive a less than luxurious car, but my life has not suffered one bit.
8. I followed my passion and attended sommelier school. The $500 initial investment opened me up to a whole different level of luxury where I was able to taste a $1000 bottle of wine and say something fancy like, “Hhhmm….I think it needs to breath for a while.” Major luxury moment. (By the way, by following my desire to learn more about the world of wine, I was asked to write restaurant reviews for a regional magazine and create a wine program at a country club, which led to more luxurious experiences that paid me. How cool is that?)
9. I dressed and walked like a woman of luxury, meaning I didn’t walk out of my house in baggy jeans and a T-shirt with my shoulders slumped.
10. I became a student of luxury, reading quality literature, watching classic films and reading Town and Country and Vogue.
11. I stopped listening to my thoughts that said things like, “Girl, you grew up in a trailer. Who do you think you are?” It’s just needless chatter.
12. I started fully engaging with my world and the people in it, asking questions, seeking answers and constantly putting myself out there.
13. I put fresh flowers in my home.
14. I visited my parents more. They always make me feel like a Princess, even when we lived in a double wide.
15. I sought out quality conversations that discussed the important stuff, like death, life, religion, fashion and food and wine. Well, at least those things are important to me.
16. I attended luxurious events, such as an orientation for women at Duke’s School of Business. Keep in mind, I was working as a full-time nurse and had never been in business. These events also didn’t cost me a dime other than the gas to get there.
17. I started walking through Saks as if I belonged there, not like some freak whose eyes were going to pop out of my sockets when I saw the price of a Louis bag. Nope, just a shoulder shrug like it wasn’t the bag for me.
18. I became mindful of what I put into my body and how I moved through the world. Yes, this means eating healthy and exercising.
19. I cleaned (and continue to clean) my world of low-quality people, things and experiences. Luxury does not co-exist with chaos, drama and clutter.
20. I believed I deserved a luxurious life. This is the most important of all. Many women are walking around feeling guilty if they invest $20 dollars in themselves. If that’s you, listen to me. You are not doing yourself or the world of favor by denying yourself of a luxurious life. The most giving people I know live the good life, which is how they are able to help so many others. You’ve got to clean this thought up to let luxury in.
Bonus: I remembered this one after I finished the article, so let’s just call it a bonus. One of the things I started doing was blessing those who lived a luxurious lifestyle, instead of judging and secretly hating them. By saying, “You go girl” every time I saw a woman rocking out her Prada dress, walking out of the massage parlor or sashaying into the Four Seasons, I was opening my heart to the Universe and saying, “Bring it on. I’m ready!”
Tonya Leigh Williams is a coach, speaker, and writer. She is dedicated to empowering women to create amazing lives and bodies without dieting, deprivation and drama. Her passion is helping women find freedom from body image, weight, and food issues. Tonya teaches the secrets of naturally slender people, coaches women on normal eating without deprivation, and shows women how to simultaneously transform their bodies while also living at peace within them. She has helped women lose weight, gain clarity and purpose, and step into a new life free of struggle. If you are interested in learning more about coaching with Tonya Leigh, please visit http://tonyaleigh.com